My Mama Nailed the Windows Shut

When I was growing up my mama nailed the windows in my bedroom shut, not so much because she was scared I would sneak out- but she didn’t want anybody sneaking in!!!  

Well- she did her best, but unfortunately, a lot snuck in.  She taught me right, but I did wrong!

In my heart, I was not surrendered to Jesus- nor did I comprehend the love He had for me, nor did I know anything about the power of the Holy Spirit or even that He existed…  I made a lot of bad choices. A lot.

I wanted things to be different for my daughter…

In our culture, waiting until you are eighteen to date or court is not common. Saving your kiss until you have found your prince doesn’t happen much.

No, in this bachelor-bachelorette driven society (I was right there with ‘em- I’m not judging, just sayin’….) it  is not the norm. Choose your favorite flavor then change your mind- cause it is all about YOU…or not.

It is weird, strange and peculiar that girls and guys wait. Really for anything. Whether it’s a donut, or a cheeseburger or a relationship. We are all in it for instant gratification. We want it now and we want it hot!!!!! Think Krispy Kreme…

Now- from the start. Let me share that I am now a bonafide, freak, of the Jesus kind and make no apologies for that. Your beliefs may be different. I am not the judge-  my Daddy Jesus is, I’ll leave that to Him. I love Him and respect Him more than words can express.  I have seen His life transforming power in my life.  So- now you know where I am coming from and you can choose to read on if you would like.

We are raising our daughters to court instead of date. There are lots of books on the subject of courting- but starting very, very early, I shared with my oldest that she was a rare treasure, a peculiar treasure. I shared that someday, she would be married to a wonderful, God fearing, God loving man and he would want her whole heart and her whole body. Not just pieces. I told her that every time she gave her heart away- it would stay and that she needed to guard it carefully, prayerfully.

We dreamed together of her wedding day- how special it would be to give her heart to her husband with Jesus at the very center! They would become one and do great Kingdom things together! 

We talked often about how to keep her heart and actions pure.

This meant as parents, we had a job to do and it wasn’t a normal one.

WE PRAYED! PRAYED PRAYED!!!

AND PROTECTED, PROTECTED, PROTECTED!!!!

We did not let Skylar mingle in mixed company, without an adult for a long time! She was 17 before she was able to go, IN A GROUP, with mixed company anywhere without an adult.

I always checked at parties to make sure adults would be with the kids.

Only on 3 occasions was she allowed to ride a lone in the car with the opposite sex. These were all very close friends- but not boyfriends and the circumstances warranted the ride. I remember a young adult male sharing with us after I told him she couldn’t ride with him that he was thankful, “I wish my mom and dad had cared that much for me. I probably wouldn’t have done some of the things I regret now.”

Yes- even movies had to be group events and a parent had to be there. When we moved to NJ a group asked her to go to a corn maze. An older teen church leader was going to be there- but not an adult I personally knew. She didn’t go.

It was not always easy for her. At times it was down- right hard and horrible.

There was a time she deeply cared about a young man but THEY( my hat’s off to him too), prayed and fasted and both got a red light from the Lord. I remember them both crying- but they didn’t have the nod from God so they didn’t move forward.

There was one other gentleman she was fond of- but Jesus was in that too. Sometimes rejection is His mighty hand of protection- because He has something else in mind!!!!!!

In September of last year, she had the opportunity to meet a young man she had been praying for. They had so much in common. Both had very similar callings. They both wanted to go into ministry, specifically missions. He shared that a family member of his lived in panama and had helped a village…Skylar saw Him through the eyes of her Savior.

BUT, the two couldn’t court or date. Too long to get into here, but they fell in love across church chairs over  a period of 10 months,  patiently waiting for His timing. I don’t think I could have done it!!!

A look- a prayer, many Scriptures prayed over each other, time for them both to mature solo in their relationships with Jesus… but no contact- except with their Daddy Jesus. Fasting, prayer, praise…hope.

And suddenly God started revealing His plan for them to court and to begin to carry out His kingdom come.

At 18 and a few months my daughter had her first date. He came in, I took lots of pictures, of course, and as a family we prayed!!!

This sweet prince, surrendered to the cross and filled with the Holy Spirit was worth the wait….you see, His Daddy is a KING- so he really is a prince and she really is a princess!!!!

When the King is in it, things are not normal. It is peculiar….and that is just the way this mama prayed it would be.

I can’t live seeking the approval of man- I just want to please my Savior. I don’t always get it right- but He knows our hearts and seeking Him…you just can’t go wrong. 

Things might not always be easy or comfortable, you may be misunderstood or even persecuted.  But praying His Kingdom come, His will be done  and following His leading, His peace will NEVER disappoint.

Update-God has and will always allow, love to be a choice.  If something doesn't work out, that doesn't mean it wasn't God purposed. Maybe it was, maybe it wasn't. His ways will always be higher than ours and individuals always have choices. We just have to trust God- always, He really will never disappoint! This courtship did not end the way we thought it would- but God, I believe honored my daughter's heart for HIm and provided her with the very BEST for her journey!